Eloping – A Quick Guide on How To Do It

Why eloping?

Why consider eloping?  There’s loads of reasons why couples I work with elope. Whether it’s to save money, to negate the ‘inviting the masses’ issue, or you just want a really intimate quick wedding with only you and your witnesses then I’m able to help you with your elopement ceremony, ensuring it meets all your needs.

Whether it’s a quick ceremony, like my Short, Simple Yet Sweet, or a destination elopement, it’s all fairly easy, and I can help make it a reality for you.

How to elope in four easy steps

Submit You Notice of Intended Marriage

Submit your completed notice-of-intended-marriage at least one calendar month prior to your elopement date with your celebrant.  Unless there is a reason which falls under exceptional circumstances (please ask me for more advice on these), you will need to  lodge this at least one calendar month before your chosen date to get married.

Think about what kind of elopement you want.

  • Do you want super-intimate with only two witnesses or something with a small, intimate group of family and/or friends?
  • If you do want to invite guests, do you want them to be aware that you are eloping, or do you want to invite them under a different guise?
  • Do you want to include personalised vows in the ceremony?
  • Do you want any readings included?  Would you like any of your guests to say something during the ceremony?
  • Do you want your elopement to be captured by a professional photographer and/or videographer to then share with others at a later date?

Decide where you would like to hold your elopement ceremony.  

I have conducted elopements:

  • at parks (depending on your type of elopement, it’s worth checking first to see if you need any kind of permit for that particular park)
  • on beaches, including those on both the Gold and Sunshine Coasts
  • in a coffee shop (with the bride and groom in shorts and thongs)
  • at the home of a couple, just before they were to fly off for a trip of a lifetime
  • at a small family 30th birthday party which turned into a surprise elopement

Breaking the news

How are you going to share the news with your family and friends after the elopement?  It must seem an odd question to ask, but quite often couples elope, and then spend days, weeks, even months, before they share the news because, well… basically they’re not sure how to do so!  It’s worth having a think about this beforehand; are there those whom you want to tell first face to face, or are you happy to make an announcement on social media?

Sound Easy – What’s Next?

Check out my Short, Simple Yet Sweet package which is perfect for elopements. If this is within budget and you like my style, give me a ring or send me an email.

I have a real sense of adventure and love surprises, so am more than happy to get fully on board to make your elopement totally right for you. I can give you any advice you may need, such as where to hold your elopement, and will support you through the process. And why not read what others have to say about my services by checking out these reviews.

Email me at roxy@roxyrocks.com or give me a bell on 0478041227. Alternatively, you can fill in my contact form.

Remembering a loved one in your ceremony

Remembering a loved one

When an important person in your life isn’t able to attend your wedding, it can be hard.  Whether it’s because they have died or are unable to travel to your wedding, you may be considering ways to acknowledge them. If so, what is the best way to do so, and how?

To Acknowledge or Not?

This is something that only you can decide. In my experience, acknowledging a person who is notably absent can address the elephant in the room.

I conducted a wedding where the brother of the groom had passed only recently.  The groom wanted his absence acknowledged in the ceremony. So I said ‘Dave, has asked me to acknowledge his little brother, James, who I’m sure is in many of your thoughts today. Although James is not here, it does feel like he’s looking on, and probably having a bit of a laugh seeing Dave all suited and nervous.  Although his absence is felt deeply, think of him with a smile. Imagine him taking full advantage of the free bar and throwing a shape or two on the dance floor later on.’

After the ceremony, the groom’s parents came and spoke to me.  They explained that they were so grateful that James had been acknowledged. They had been worried that the whole day would go by without him being mentioned.

At another ceremony, the bride’s grandmother was too poorly to travel.  The relationship between the two of them was very close. She explained to me that her grandmother had had a dream where the bride had married in olive green which was her grandmother’s favourite colour.  I suggested that I wore one of my frocks which was in this colour and she loved this idea. During the ceremony I explained I was wearing this specifically in honour of her Grandmother.  After the ceremony the bride sent her grandmother an extract of the ceremony where this was mentioned.

However, acknowledging someone with words may feel too upsetting, and there are other, less explicit, ways of doing so.

Photos

Whether you have a photo of your loved one somewhere near the ceremonial area or chose to carry a photo in your bouquet or pinned to your jacket, having a photographic reminder can be a wonderful way of feeling as if they are close by you throughout the day.

l-r: Rachel Clingen Roxy’s own,  Shea Christine

Their Favourite things

A sensitive, yet fun inclusion could be serving your loved ones favourite drink or food, or making something from one of their recipes.  Alternatively, you could have one of their favourite songs played or, if the lyrics work, read by a friend or family member during the ceremony.

l-r: Inked Weddings, Roxy’s own, Inked Weddings

Personal Items

Whether it’s a fragment of your loved one’s wedding dress, his favourite tie, a hand-written note, their names embroidered into your dress, or a piece of jewelry or cuff-links worn, this can be a subtle, yet memorable way of including them in your day.

l-r: Zofia and Co.Kay McKee photographer,  Janine Deanna, Lindsay Docherty

I also love this idea of creating a kilt pin with specific items and wearing this somewhere on your dress or suit.

To see how to make these, check out Something Turquoise.

Rituals

If rituals are more your thing, there’s numerous ways to acknowledge a loved one which include:

  • Lighting a candle
  • Placing a flower which has significance in a vase near the signing table upon entering the ceremonial area
  • Using materials from a wedding dress or other symbolic piece of clothing in a handfasting

l-r: Amanda Macy Hall, Wedding Star, EL Simpson 

A place to Sit

You may want to leave a seat for your loved one, either within the ceremony area, or in a more discrete area.  This could be under a tree with one of their favourite flowers or a bottle of their drink so people can go and have a private moment and remember them.

l-r Wedding ChicksSouthern Weddings

And finally….

Sadly my husband’s brother passed away only nine months before our wedding.  His absence was on all our minds in the lead up to the wedding and on the day itself.  However, we had a very happy day. It was the first time many people who had been at his funeral were together again.  Although there were tears, there was much celebration of him and of us.

Please feel free to chat to me about any of these ideas.  You can contact me at roxy@roxyrocks.com or on 0478041227 or by clicking on the contact page.

Roxy Hotten Celebrant